A Little Marching Band Humor

 As we are in Marching Band season (which may I remind you is different than hunting season ) I thought that a practical definition of actual marching band terms was needed. If you have any questions, please ask your local marching band member. Thanks to The Canonical List of Band Jokes!!

What Marching Band Terms REALLY Means

Band, Atten-hut!": Bring your instrument to attention position and bring your head back at a slight angle (supposed to be executed by the entire band at the same time, but is it ever?)
"Horns-up": Snap your instrument into playing position, cracking your mouthpiece off of your teeth, or splintering your lip with your reed.
"Band, Parade Rest!": A time of stress relief after a particularly long or lousy performance, as you get to shout "HUH!" at the top of your lungs.
"Left Face, Ready MOVE!": Turn over your left shoulder on count four, promptly smacking into the person next to you who was confused and did a "Right Face". (Similar to "Right Face" and "To the REAR, MOVE!")
Company Front: A giant squiggly line across the field (usually on or near a hash) that causes hours of aggravation while one side of the field argues with the other trying to decide who's in the right place.
Drum Major(s): People you liked a whole lot better before they became drum major.
Triplet Step(s): Really fast, stupid looking steps in which you scamper across the field like rabbits on a sugar high.
Cadence: A place for the drummers to show off during parades, etc. A perfect time to get off step as the tempo changes constantly.
Back March: Marching backwards, a ballet-like move. You stay up on your toes, lose your balance, and fall on your butt.
Horn Flash: Tip your head back and point the bell of your instrument into the air. Effective dynamically for trumpets, trombones, and horns. Pretty much useless and a waste of energy for saxes, clarinets, flutes, baritones, etc.
Uniform: A sweaty, stinky piece of clothing that takes several minutes to put on. Also known as "A Full Bladder's Worst Nightmare!"
Color Guard: Girls with metal poles, rifles, and sabers...Everything you don't want them to have.

      (Here is the link to the website I found these on) http://canonicalbandjokes.webs.com/bandterminology.htm