Funny Band Jokes

There is a group of 6th grade flute players, and they are in a competition to who can get the highest note.
"Look guys, I can play a high A!" (Screeeeeeech!)
"Well, I can get to high B" (Screeeech!, Any glass nearby busts)
"I can play piccolo!" (Panic ensues)
"Noo! DON'T DO IT!"
"PUT IT AWAY!"
"AAAAAAAAAHHH!!!"
this has actually happened to me before; I was in 8th grade though, and the one with the piccolo. He he he!

There is a man on a boat that is in a shipwreck. The boat crashes on a jungle island and the man is greeted by natives. In the distance, he hears the sound of drums. He asks what the drums are for and the chief answers, "The drums must not stop!" The man is forced to stay the night in the natives' village. All through the night, the drums kept on going so he was unable to sleep at all. He got up in the morning and went to the chief again, begging him to know why the drums couldn't stop. The chief answered, "Because when drum solo stop, sax solo start!"

One week after moving into his first apartment, Ed called his mother to complain about his neighbors: "One woman cries all day, another lies in bed moaning, and then there's this guy that keeps banging his head against the wall."
"You better keep away from them," she said.
"I do. I stay inside all day playing my tuba."

An orchestra is rehearsing a piece in which the tuba has a solo after 84 bars rest. At the point where the tuba should start the solo, nothing happens. So, the conductor stops and asks the tuba player why he didn't play. "I have 84 bars rest," says the tuba player. To which the conductor replies, "But we are past those 84 bars already." The tuba player, confused, asks "How should I know that?" The conductor replies, "You can count, can't you?" The tuba player looks at him and asks "Do you call that rest?"

Q: How many drum majors does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Only one, but then again, who's really watching?

One day in heaven, the Lord decided He would visit the earth and take a stroll. Walking down the road, He encountered a man who was crying. The Lord asked the man, “Why are you crying, my son?” The man said that he was blind and had never seen a sunset. The Lord touched the man who could then see… and he was happy.
As the Lord walked further, He met another man crying and asked, “Why are you crying, my son?” The man was born a cripple and was never able to walk. The Lord touched him and he could walk… and he was happy.
Farther down the road, the Lord met another man who was crying and asked, “Why are you crying, my son?” The man said, “Lord I’m a high school band director.”
… and the Lord sat down and cried with him.